Why i like "Scott Pilgrim vs The World" better than "Stargirl."

In the past year I have watched two movies with a similar story that if boiled down to their basic concept are quite similar. These two movies are "Scott Pilgrim vs The World", and "Stargirl".
The boiled down plot line is "A boy who is afraid to be true to himself meets a girl who is, and it changes him." There are other movies that follow this story line, and there are also others where the role is swapped and it is the girl who meets the guy. But the basic story is the same. Someone is living a drab, normal life, and they have a brief encounter with someone who has decided to make the most out of life who inspires person number one to do better and believe in them self, and then person number 2 disappears.

With movies like this, we, as the audience, usually feel like we relate to person number 1. We wonder if we are living to our full potential. We wonder if anyone really sees us for who we are. We worry about what society, our friends, and our family would think of us if we ever let our true self shine for a moment. And, we envy and worry about individuals who we believe are letting their true self shine through because most of us see society as a something similar to pack of hyenas that are waiting to kill, eat, and laugh at anything that isn't also a hyena. Because of this, we also might feel like maybe we  have suppressed our true self over the years, and conformed to the norm so that we weren't one of the ones that got eaten. Maybe we became a hyena, or perhaps learned how to camouflage and pass through life avoiding detection. Whatever the case, person one feels like they are not being true to their own self and isn't sure what to do.

I think most everyone can relate to person one, but I am not so sure that everyone can relate to person two. You see, person two is different. They haven't conformed. They haven't changed so that they could be accepted. They are just simply who they are, and don't worry too much about it. Most little children are like this. There is a difference, however, in being true to oneself, and acting outside the norm for attention. It isn't always easy to see, one way to tell is how they go about doing things. A person who is genuinely doing things to be true to their self will be quiet about it. They won't seek attention for their actions because they aren't doing what they do for attention, and they are being how they are for it either. They are simply doing what they feel is right, and they are comfortable with who they are. They don't need other's approval to validate their self belief.

Deep down, we all want to be like person number two. That is why we, like Scott Pilgrim (from Scott Pilgrim vs The World) and Leo (from Stargirl) find these modest, genuine, and "different" people so intriguing, and ultimately alluring. We find them, and interaction with them to be precious, and like everything else we find precious we want to keep it safe. In the movies and stories this desire usually results in person one making various attempts to convince person two to tone it down, to hide their light, or conform in some way. Naturally, this is not what person two wants to hear because they are trying the whole time to help person one to come out of their shell and be true to their self. The result of these attempts usually causes person number one to lose person number two, and that results in them learning to appreciate person number two on a deeper level, which then causes them to make the decision to be true their own self.

It is here, where as a viewer, we wait for them to meet again so we can see what happens between them now that person one has come out of their shell and is letting their own light shine. When they do meet, it is usually a very brief meeting. A last cementing and acknowledgement of person one's growth, and then, at the height of accomplishment, person two disappears. Sometimes they move, other times they die, but however it is that they do it, they disappear without a trace or trail, and person one can no longer find them. The story usually ends with them never seeing each other again, or only catching glimpses that are few and far in between of the special individual who touched their life. There is usually a monologue about how person one and everyone like to reminisce about person two, but how at the same time, because person two was so wonderful, no one is truly sure if they actually existed, and so they grow and move on with their lives and person two becomes nothing but a memory. Sometimes, they are forgotten entirely.

While watching these movies, I go between standing in the shoes of both people. I know what it is like to be a person one, and I know what it is like to be a person two. I am a person two most of the time. I know who I am, what I am capable of, what I like and dislike, and what I would like to do. But I have spent most of my life feeling like I have been overlooked. Accepted for who I am, but never acknowledged for what I could be. Admittedly, I worry quite often about what other people think of me, so I can not say that I am fully in the shoes of a number two either. However, I am to the point, where even if I am not overly comfortable with people, I am myself when I am around them. I have had many people tell me that they admire me for being able to be myself, for being genuine, honest, and loving. People find my presence calming, and many have come to me for advice because I am sincere. You could say that to many people, have been a number two type of person in their life. Which is precisely why I do not like the general ending to most of these movies because, as stated before, in most of the movies person two disappears. It is an essential thing if person one is going to grow on their own, but at the same time it is something that is horribly sad because these two people have built something. They've grown with each other. Why must that all be put aside? Why is it that person number two has to become a distant memory. If disappearing is inevitable, then why is it that person number two can't take person one with them when they disappear? Why can't they continue their story together.

This is why I like the ending of "Scott Pilgrim vs The World" better than the ending of "Stargirl", or "The Bridge to Terabithia", or the other movies and stories that I can't remember right now that end in separation. "Scott Pilgrim vs The World" still ends with person two disappearing. She moves away. However, Scott volunteers to go with her. Their adventure continues. The growth they have during the film isn't tossed aside. Person two doesn't become a distant memory because they choose to go together. I like this ending better because I feel like I am a person two. I have a wanderlust that I can't quench, and a desire to help people be true to their self that has led me to take actions that most people would never do to help someone. So far, the person ones I have helped along their path have moved on, and I have become something of a memory. Maybe me disappearing is inevitable, but I hope someday to find someone who will disappear with me. Someone like Scott, who maybe doesn't know quite who they themselves are yet, but wants to find out, and wants me to be there when they do.

Captain's log March 2nd, 2020

Sometimes, I wonder if writing things down is worth it.

Take this log for example.  I started it years ago when I was on my teens, and I had friends doing the same. Most of them have cut ties with me,  and I don't they will be back to look at blog.

So who am I sitting here writing to?

I guess, to me.

And to you. 

I hope you know, dear reader, that you are important.  Your voice is special.  And people care about you. 

Don't ever give up.  

Rest if you need to.

We will set sail again tomorrow.

An Interesting Observation from the Old Testament

Today I was reading a number of different chapters in the book of Exodus, and I found something interesting. The priesthood of God was going to be given to the Israelites, but the only ones who showed themselves worthy of it were the children of Levi. They were given the Aaronic Priesthood.
Also interesting, is how Joshua, who had been away from the camp during the time of the Golden Calf, was not part of the idolatry, and therefore did not sin. Joshua is the man who was called to be the prophet after Moses was translated.

What can we learn from this?
I think that we can learn that it is important to choose God's side. If everyone around us is sinning, we should abstain, or better yet, leave so as not to be tempted to join. We should remember that our goal is to follow God, not golden idols, or idle pleasures. God is the source of joy and light. It makes perfect sense that our lives would be dark and depressing if we turn away from Him.

Thinking back

.I know someone that causes mixed emotions.

There is the urge to joke, and also to be serious.

The mouth wants to smile and laugh, but the eyes want to cry.

The mind is tired and wants to let go, but the heart beats faster and wants to hold on.

I want my heart back, but at the same time I don't.

Honestly people, I don't know what to do. :)

But this I do know, it is 3:19 in the morning.

I'm going to go to bed

Sometimes we feel like this.

Loneliness: The search for companionship

This is a paper I wrote for school on how we can find our significant other. I invite you all to read it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m0VvNf1F8RhkeFc7ecHG3K8mIbliup9LPa6hN8RQgtY/edit?usp=sharing

the urge

There is a feeling I frequently get when walking outside on a starry night. I felt this feeling many times as a missionary walking beneath heavens with the moon and stars shining down on me, and I have since felt it here, at home, though not as often. The feeling that if I were to let go and jump toward the clouds, I would fly. I would leave the earth behind and soar toward the distant lights that twinkle up above. Sometimes the urge to leap and test this feeling, to see if I would indeed whiz up into the air, is almost irrepressible. I don't know what would happen, if I were to give in and let go. But I know that if I were to fly, I would never come down. This is why I don't give in. I am not yet ready to remove the tether and soar to heaven. There are too many things I have to accomplish here on the ground.
In the meantime, don't be worried should you see me tearing down the street in a blur, or catch me leaping over furniture and bushes and rocks. I am only practicing for when the time comes to take off and make my climb to eternity.